Transparent Tuesdays
Issue 37
You guys,
I’ll never forget the year I stopped believing in Santa Claus. It was 5th grade. I was in the middle school cafeteria when I casually said I believed in Santa when my crush, Jerry Fogherty, overheard and ripped into me. “You believe in Santa Claus???”
I quickly recovered. I said there WAS a man named St. Nicholas. He did exist. At some point. That’s all I was saying. Obviously.
Later that night I asked my mom point blank, “Mom, is Santa Claus real?”
I don’t remember exactly what she said. But she didn’t say no and she didn’t say yes. Her non-answer gave me my answer. Christmas morning lost some of its magic that year. I was devastated.
For years after that I stared out my bedroom window on Christmas Eve and couldn’t believe I had been lied to for so long. That all parents lie to their kids. That all kids believe in Santa Claus. Until they don’t.
So what do I say when my son asks me, point blank, “Mama, is Santa Claus real?”
I don’t want to lie to him. But I also want Christmas to be as magical as possible for as long as possible.
How do parents handle this??
Essay of the Week
Over the holiday weekend I watched 4.5 Hallmark Christmas movies. The .5 was because I got to the halfway point of A Wedding For Christmas and was tired of rolling my eyes at the on-the-nose over-acting so I finally shut it off. And put on a different Hallmark movie.
What is it about Hallmark Christmas movies and why do millions of Americans watch them??
I answered that question in this week’s extra short essay.
Moms Are Full Of Shit
My mom makes these delicious cranberry orange shortbread cookies. She assured me “They’re SO EASY to make,” and sent the recipe.
The only note in capital letters was DO NOT OVERBAKE.
Mom bakes them for 12 minutes. So I baked them for 12 minutes, let them cool, and tasted one.
It tasted like raw dough.
I baked them for three more minutes. Tasted like raw dough.
Packed them up and brought them to Thanksgiving dinner. Put them in the oven for five minutes.
Tasted like raw dough.
Put them in the oven for another five minutes.
Tasted like raw dough.
This now puts us at a total 25 minutes for cookies that we should NOT OVERBAKE.
Why do moms insist that recipes are SO EASY when they never are??
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Until next week,
Charlie
Santa Claus is real! You don't need to lie. Just say it with conviction.
And make sure there are presents under the tree every year!
And make sure the cookies get eaten every year!
YOU shouldn't ever stop believing. If your son stops believing, that's his problem, but make sure it's not because of YOU!
You have just one job...
Love, love this newsletter! Hits all the sweet spots. Thank you!