Hi folks,
I got a call from the high school athletic director and the conversation did not start well:
“I was approached by a parent - and by the way, they love you, they think you’re great - but…”
I braced myself for impact.
“They came across some video challenge you did? And there’s a lip sync video of you saying the ‘N’ word.”
I shut my eyes. I felt two things at once: embarrassed and indignant. Embarrassed that five years ago I made a video where I lip synced the “N” word. Indignant that I was being judged for some video I made five years ago.
Some rap songs have the “N” word in it. At the time, I didn’t think of it as me saying the “N” word. I thought of it as me performing a song. It was an act. And the rap songs were the most difficult to get right so I was especially proud when I did.
Back in May, former Bachelorette star Hannah Brown received backlash for singing the “N” word on her livestream. She eventually issued an apology but initially defended herself, saying that she was “just singing a song.”
Another former Bachelorette star and only black lead ever on the show, Rachel Lindsay, had this to say:
“When people say, ‘Oh, it’s just a lyric in a song,’ you have to acknowledge where that word comes from and how deeply rooted in hate it is. … In the 20th century, black people took that power back. [They said] ‘You want to use that word negatively against me? No, I’m going to take it and I’m going to use it as something that’s positive.’ But that doesn’t give permission for non-blacks to then take and use that word, too.”
Hearing Lindsay speak about this made me realize I had no reason to feel indignant. I was ignorant about the word and should be held accountable (I was not fired but would have respected that decision).
I almost didn’t write about this. But it’s an opportunity to have a conversation and grow and learn from it. I fully support Black Lives Matter and hope to have more conversations about it and continually educate myself on the history and the cause. And I apologize for lip syncing the word and ever thinking it was okay to do so.
Blog of the Week
I had very little understanding of personal finance until I was in my 30s. Now I understand how important it is for young people to have guidance in this area of their lives.
I wrote about my journey with debt and how important it is to start personal finance education at a young age. [Read the post here.]
As a complement to my essay, I thoroughly enjoyed this podcast interview with Ana Lorena Fabrega. She spoke about her time as a teacher and recalls rebelling against the standard curriculum to do things her way:
“If I see a unit that kids are not going to use, I’m going to skip it and teach kids things that are not even in the curriculum - like personal finances.”
Listen to the end to hear host Anthony Pompliano expand on Fabrega’s question of what he thinks kids should be learning today.
Pomp’s short response? You guessed it. Personal finance.
Baby Names
I discovered Tim Urban this week. I don’t know what rock I’ve been living under but it started with this essay: Taming the Mammoth: Why You Should Stop Caring What Other People Think. If that title resonates with you, I highly recommend it.
Next, my friend Lev directed me to a funny piece about baby names. Urban says that parents have four options when it comes to baby names:
Go Timeless (John, William, David)
Go Super Weird (Winter, Namaste, Jameliah)
Go a Little Weird But Not Too Weird (Ashton, Wyatt, Luca)
Just Pick a Popular Name (Oliver, Liam, Ethan)
Timeless and Popular are boring and Super Weird is obnoxious, so that leaves Category 3. Urban explains the benefits and drawbacks of going “a little weird but not too weird.”
For the benefits: “This category is perfect for parents who are far too thrilled with themselves and are having far too special a child for a Timeless or Top 10 Name, but who also look down upon those who go for a Super Weird Name as annoying or unclassy.”
For the drawbacks: “There’s a chance a lot of other people feel the same way about that “unconventional” name and you inadvertently find yourself as part of a Name Fad. Suddenly, that name so perfectly placed at #137 on the list of popular names is #86. Then the next year it’s #41. Then #18. Then #5. All to the horror of the Category 3 couple.”
Fortunately, I’ve known what I was going to name my first born child since I was in middle school. I don’t consider myself crazy, but it was one of those topics I’d broach with a guy fairly quickly upon meeting him if I thought there was any chance of us getting married and having kids together. It went something like this: “Just so you know, my first-born child will be named ‘______.’ Hope you’re okay with that.”
I just searched the Top Names of 2020 and our son’s name isn’t on there until the 500s. So maybe it is Super Weird.
Regardless, we’re keeping it a surprise until he’s born. When you announce the name before the child is born people can’t help themselves: they will give you their opinion.
This way, when he’s born, everyone can tell us how cool and awesome his name is. And I can be “far too thrilled” with myself about my “far too special” child.
---
Until next week,
Charlie