Transparent Tuesdays

Issue 164

You guys,

When someone asks me what I was like in high school, I don’t know what to say.

I was a 3-sport athlete. I had lots of friends. I thought drugs were dumb. I was always infatuated with a boy. I was the news anchor for the morning announcements. I loved Video Tech and English class. Senior year, I was on Homecoming Court and Prom Court and won the class superlative for Most Spirited. 

That was me on the surface, but underneath there was much more to the story. 

Sports ruled my life. It wasn’t until senior year that I finally auditioned for the school musical because I had a deep desire to act. When my basketball coach heard about the audition she told me I couldn’t do both. I had to choose. It was an easy decision. 

I had lots of friends and was indifferent to anyone I wasn’t friends with. If you annoyed me, I was mean to you. If you had a crush on me, I decimated you. There was one boy who liked me from middle school and all through high school and I rolled my eyes every time he gave me a valentine. When he paid me compliments I yelled at him. 

I thought drugs were dumb but drinking was everything. If you didn’t drink, you weren’t cool.

I obsessed over boys until junior year when I only had eyes for my history teacher. Some days the only thing that got me out of bed was knowing I’d get to see him, where he might even greet me with a high-five as I entered his classroom. 

I was the news anchor for the morning announcements, except on days I was late to school, which was most days even though I lived three blocks away. I dreaded the minutes before going live in front of the school. I confused nerves with excitement, and assumed feeling paralyzed and sweaty beforehand was an indication that this was what I was meant to do for the rest of my life.

I hated every class except Video Tech and English. I was moody and miserable until 3th period when I’d eat lunch at the ridiculous time of 10:37am. I was not at school to learn. I was there because you had to go to school in order to play your sport after school. 

I was on Homecoming Court and Prom Court, two places I desperately wanted to be but pretended was no big deal. 

I won two superlatives my senior year — Most Spirited and Most Recognizable Laugh, but had to pick one so I obviously chose spirited and was both mortified and offended that my classmates voted me for the laugh. I was even more offended I wasn’t voted Most Athletic and triple pissed Jenny Sheen won it when she only played ONE sport. 

Okay fine, she played two but Indoor Track doesn’t count. And she wasn’t even that good. 

So what was I like in high school? I don’t know. Depends on the day, depends who you ask. 

I was a kid, growing and changing and trying to fit in while trying to stand out. 

What were you like in high school? 

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I’m Going To Write A Memoir 

But first I need to read them. All of them. And study them and write about them and learn about them and enjoy them and rip through them and savor them. 

To write a memoir, I have to immerse myself in the stories of others.

I will become an expert at memoir. 

And then writing one will be easy.

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Drinking Update

Over the weekend, Sam and I drank alcohol for our 10th day this year (four nights in January, three nights in April, and three nights in May). All during visits with family. 

I’m only posting this photo as a flex. This is the best wine I’ve ever tasted. 

We were in Charlotte visiting my in-laws for Mother’s Day. They have a wine cellar. They collect wine. 

It tasted good and made me tired and chatty. My Oura sleep score and readiness score didn’t stand a chance. I took my pants off in the middle of the night because I was too hot. I popped three Advil in the morning. 

I’m happy to be home.

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Until next week,

Charlie