Transparent Tuesdays

Issue 40

You guys,

Have you had any uncomfortable situations with friends or family members because of COVID?

With so many unknowns and misinformation, being “careful” means something different to everyone, which leads to disconnect, which leads to tension. 

My sisters are coming to visit after Christmas. Sam and I asked them to take the necessary precautions in the two weeks leading up to their trip. 

I said, “Please don’t be around any people you don’t need to be around. By that I mean, I know you have to go to work and the grocery story, but not much else. And obviously, wear a mask.”

They agreed. 

In the next breath they said they were going to their friends’ house for a few hours. Friends who don’t see any people... except for two other couples. “But it’s okay, those couples don’t see anyone either.”

Huh???

I asked them, “Can you please not go to your friends’ house?”

They seemed annoyed, like I was making a big deal out of nothing. My one sister said, “You’re not listening.” 

I felt flooded. I had to hang up the phone. 

Even when it seems clear and obvious how to navigate this virus, people have different perspectives. It all comes down to risk tolerance. My sisters think about probable scenarios while Sam and I think about worst case scenarios. 

In his essay, The Three Sides of Risk, Morgan Housel names the three distinct sides of risk:

• The odds you will get hit.

• The average consequences of getting hit.

• The tail-end consequences of getting hit.

Housel tells a personal story about a tail-end consequence of risk that ended in the tragic death of his friend in a ski accident. 

Tail-end consequences are unlikely. But they do happen.

When a tail-end consequence occurs, will it have been worth it? 

That’s what I asked my sisters when I called them back an hour later. They were understanding. They saw my perspective. 

They said they would be careful.

---

Essay of the Week

I had a call with my friend Robbie and vented for the first 30 minutes. It’s hard to keep up with parenting a 4-month-old, writing, and sleep. 

Robbie suggested I write about it. A lot of people could relate to my struggles.

Then I had a call with my friend Bryce, mom of two little babes. We talked more in depth about the role of a mom and the balancing act of being a parent while remaining ambitious in our personal endeavors. 

I wondered, “What would it be like to be ‘just’ a mom and not worry about writing?”

That question and both conversations inspired my essay this week. [Read the post here.]

---

It’s The Thought That Counts

While I love giving presents at Christmastime I hate the obligatory gift-giving to family members I only see or talk to once a year. 

Gifts should be thoughtful, and when you barely know the person there’s no chance for that. 

It usually ends in a phone call to your mom: “What should I get cousin Jimmy’s 6-year-old kid?” 

It’s stupid. 

How do we break the mold and have everyone agree to not buy presents for people unless you actually want to?

---

Only 3 Days Till Christmas!!!

Charlie