Hi all,
I had my first parenting fail.
Baby George was really uncomfortable lately and I couldn’t figure out why. If he’s fed and has a clean diaper and doesn’t settle down while being held, what else can I do to comfort him?
Two of my girlfriends suggested gas medicine. I felt desperate and sent Sam to the store to get it.
Around 2am, George was fussy so I administered the drops on my own. Sam woke up groggy as I was doing it and quickly panicked. “How much did you give him??”
I was giving him a full dropper. I figured one dropper was one serving. Thankfully, Sam caught me so that I only gave George half the dropper. Still, that was twice the recommended amount.
Reading the box - after the fact - it said, “In case of overdose, get medical help.”
Now I panicked. Sam called the pediatrician. We were put on hold and then passed through to a doctor - obviously waking him. The doctor said, “Don’t give the baby drops. Babies have gas. Burp him.”
What I heard was: “Don’t give the baby drops. You assholes. What kind of parents are you?”
Sam informed the doctor that not only had we already given him the drops, we’d given him double the dose, to which the doctor replied, “It’s fine.”
But Sam and I were not fine. We were worried sick. Even though George was sleeping peacefully, Sam stayed up with him for the next two hours, just watching him to make sure he was okay.
He was okay. George would be fine, but I felt horrible.
I was tired. George was screaming. And we made a series of poor decisions. First, we obviously should have checked with our pediatrician instead of relying on a friend recommendation. And second, I should have read the directions more carefully before giving George the medicine.
In hindsight, I can’t believe this happened. But when I was in it I wasn’t thinking straight. I just wanted George to feel better and stop crying.
Have you ever made a poor decision under stress?
It’s hard to be rational in those moments, but it’s important to take a breath and remember that there are three sides to risk, as Morgan Housel explains:
The odds you will get hit
The average consequences of getting hit
The tail-end consequences of getting hit
No. 3 is the one you need to think about and is the one most people don’t think about, but Housel insists: “...the tail-end consequences – the low-probability, high-impact events – are all that matter.”
Nothing is worth risking my baby’s health and safety. Not only do babies have gas, they cry, too. I have to be okay with George crying and being uncomfortable sometimes. But it’s hard.
Blog of the Week
It’s been years since I felt depressed, but I had a few nights recently that I felt those familiar overwhelming feelings of sadness creep into my skin.
It was because of the anxiety of not knowing how George would sleep at night, and a fear that I would be too tired to properly care for him.
I started to write an essay about reframing negative situations into positive ones because as soon as I did, my outlook completely changed and I no longer felt depressed. But as I was writing it, I realized that a simple reframe might not be so simple for everyone.
TV Rec
Breastfeeding at least every three hours doesn’t allow many options to do much else, so I’ve been watching the Netflix show, The Umbrella Academy (thanks for the recommendation, Matt Tillotson!).
This is a truly binge-watchable show. Incredibly entertaining, thrilling, and funny.
The best part of the show are the characters. My favorite is Klaus, the hilarious drug addict sibling who provides comic relief with a simple gesture or look.
The worst character is Cha Cha, an assassin. Her on-the-nose, one-note acting is so distracting it makes it difficult to enjoy any of her scenes. When I saw the credits it all made sense. The actor who plays Cha Cha is no actor. It’s Mary J. Blige. A singer.
Who makes these decisions?? Very poor casting.
Otherwise, two big thumbs up!
---
Until next week,
Charlie