You guys,
Excessive drinking is the American way.
4th of July festivities were in full effect in my neighborhood this past Sunday. Families drove around in their red-white-and-blue decorated golf carts and dressed in absurd patriotic outfits. Across the street, a massive water slide nearly as tall as the house behind it was blown up around 11am. A beer pong table was set up in the driveway. Next door to them, brisket for the entire block was smoking since 4am. We all congregated in each other’s front yards to eat, drink, play games, converse, and watch the kids play.
When the adults kicked the kids off the water slide so they could utilize it for a game of flip-cup-then-go-down-the-water-slide, they asked my husband to partake (while I was home putting George down for a nap). When he politely declined, a woman he didn’t know said, “C’mon, they need someone.”
Sam wanted to hang out but didn’t want to play a drinking game. When the group continued to pressure him, he felt he had no other choice but to come home.
We walked over together later and my neighbor said he heard I was the reason Sam didn’t play. I looked down at George in the stroller and said, “You know, Jack, something we want to teach George is that peer pressure is not cool.”
Jack nodded and immediately agreed. By not playing into the ridiculous normalcy of pressuring your adult friends to play in a drinking game, I think he recognized just how uncool he was being.
By observing the neighborhood celebration, it became clear alcohol is an escape. The adults are tired and overworked and stressed out. So not only is drinking an escape, it’s a well-deserved reward. Because drinking is fun.
But is drinking really fun? Or do we just associate the two because that’s what our culture does? If we thought each time about the long term vs. short term benefits of drinking, we might say it’s not worth it. Being hungover and feeling depressed sucks. Being hungover and feeling depressed and still having to get up at 6am with little kids full of energy running around the house really sucks.
But it’s hard to cut back on drinking when it’s so pervasive and so encouraged. It has to start with checking in with yourself and considering what you truly want and what truly makes you happy.
And if that means shaming people for peer pressuring you then so be it.
Essay of the Week
I used to drink and party A LOT. But the past five years I’ve been on a journey to personal growth. And what sparked that transformation was a horrible breakup.
It got me thinking that for many people, the catalyst for positive change is often tragedy, loss, a health scare, or heartbreak. Something that shakes their shoulders and says, “Yo! Wake up! Is this really what you want for your life?”
I wrote about my journey from pain to personal growth and tackled the question: What if we could make healthy changes towards a fulfilling life without a catastrophic event?
A Family Recipe
My contribution to the 4th of July BBQ was potato salad.
Not just any potato salad. For the first time, I made my Grandma’s famous German potato salad with bacon. This was the dish Grandma brought to every party and the dish my siblings and I ate heaping bowls of and leftovers all week.
It was the dish my Mom tried for years to replicate but couldn’t ever get quite right even though Grandma insisted she gave her the correct recipe. Grandma used to say, “It’s all in how you cut the potatoes.”
We always considered this an outrageous claim, but actually, my only complaint about Grandma’s version was there were too many big chunks of potato. So I chopped the potatoes smaller and when I transferred the finished product to a serving dish, licked the bowl as if it was cookie dough. Nailed it. Even better than Grandma’s.
There’s nothing more satisfying than bringing an awesome homemade side dish to a party.
If you’re 36 and a mom.
And in case you’re wondering, the real secret to Grandma’s potato salad is Miracle Whip.
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Until next week,
Charlie