You guys,
I have a terrible memory.
I forget small things (like who my husband spoke to last week) and big things (like a friend being pregnant). I gasp when I “hear the news” and my best friend Kylie laughs on the other line: “Charlie, I told you this already.”
And yet, I vividly remember other things.
I remember my dad’s underwear drawer. It was the top drawer of a tall brown dresser. I had to stand on tiptoes to see inside. He kept jolly ranchers in there: his favorite candy to eat at my brother’s all-day wrestling tournaments.
But I didn’t care about the candy. I was looking for spare change.
One time, I discovered a pipe and a small bag of weed. I couldn’t believe it. Dad smoked pot!
My older sister was the only person home at the time and I started screaming her name. “Alexis! Alexis!” I ran to the top of the steps. She stood at the bottom of the steps looking up at me.
“What?”
“There’s WEED in Dad’s underwear drawer!”
It was at this point in my retelling of the story to family and friends that Alexis yelled at me. She was angry because I was lying. That was not how it happened. SHE was the one who discovered the weed and yelled down to ME.
I immediately imagined myself at the bottom of the stairs and her at the top. And I realized, that could also be true. I could imagine the story both ways.
At the time I felt embarrassed. If I was misremembering my own memories, maybe I couldn’t write about them.
Memoirist and teacher Mary Carr reminds her students that memory is not a computer:
“It’s not a perfect storage system. [People] misremember. What I want [students] to think about is how they are not just perceiving things but beaming the landscape into being with whoever they are inside.”
And whoever they are inside is their truth.
So don’t worry if your memories aren’t 100% accurate. Write them with conviction anyway.
Essay of the Week
I’m approaching the 1-year mark for writing under a pseudonym. Over the course of this past year, I’ve had many questions about pseudonymous writing.
This week I answered those questions. [Read the post here.]
And if I missed anything, please don’t hesitate to ask!
A Better Way To Take Notes
You know when you’re reading or listening to something and suddenly find yourself not paying attention because you’re consumed by your own thoughts?
I don’t mean when you're distracted by your list of things to do. I mean something resonated and now you’re thinking about something in your own life.
Sometimes taking notes means transcribing a quote word-for-word. But other times, something is said or written that makes you go down a rabbit hole in your brain. It might feel disconnected. But it doesn’t matter.
Instead of stopping yourself and getting back to the material in front of you, let yourself think your thoughts. And write them down.
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Until next week,
Charlie