You guys,
We all go through rough times.
It’s the people who help us during those low points that make all the difference.
I still vividly remember the day I broke up with my boyfriend of eight years.
I was dropping him off at LAX and we barely spoke until we were pulling up to the terminal. His last words before slamming the door in my face were, “If you don’t want to be in this relationship, you better not be at the apartment when I get back.”
As I drove away feeling hot and icky, I had a sudden rush of resolution. I would not be at the apartment when he got back.
But where would I go?
I texted my friend Cara. She lived with her husband and two little boys up in Topanga, away from the excitement and busyness of Santa Monica. They had just built a tiny bungalow next to their house and she insisted I stay there.
As I drove up the winding, terrifying roads with no railings and held my breath around turns, I finally landed at their jaw-dropping home. Mountains all around, a view that invoked a meditative state, and complete quiet except for the sound of nature.
Cara’s husband Dave greeted me in the driveway. I opened up the car filled hastily with overnight bags and tried to reach for them but he enveloped me in a hug so tight I immediately began to sob in his arms.
Every morning I observed this family. Cara made breakfast, Dave and the oldest boy excitedly ran down the path to the chicken coop to see how many eggs they got overnight, and the littlest boy groggily played with his toys while giving me a look that said, “Who is this lady in our house?”
Then Dave would go to work and Cara would pack the kids up in the car and whisk them off to music class and I’d be alone in the oasis. We’d all reconvene for dinner and once again I’d get to witness a house filled with love.
Over the weekend, one of my best friends moved in with us. She had a rough year with COVID and was feeling lost. Sam and I insisted she come stay with us.
All weekend she kept saying thank you and it suddenly brought me back to Topanga. That rough period in my life where a family took me in and gave me the space and love to reflect and figure things out.
It filled me with gratitude all over again for Cara and Dave, and then gratitude on top of gratitude because how lucky are we that we can provide a safe, loving space for someone else?
Paying it forward is a special kind of feeling.
Essay of the Week
What brings you so much joy you’d want to do it for 100 days in a row?
This week’s essay questions our desire for success. Because success does not necessarily equate to happiness.
So maybe happiness should be our metric for success.
Please Help!
Last week I joined Michael Dean’s Writing Studio alongside nine other students. The studio was offered exclusively to Write of Passage alumni and we have one month to write three great essays.
My first essay is tackling the question:
Is there a way to make healthy life changes without first hitting a low point?
And my question to you, lovely readers, is, Have you ever hit a low point in your life that served as a catalyst for positive change? What was the low point? What were the beginning changes you made?
Reply and let me know! I’d love to hear your stories.
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Until next week,
Charlie