You guys,
10 years ago I asked myself, “Am I an alcoholic?”
I drank every night. And every time I woke up hungover or feeling guilty about how much I drank the night before I’d swear I wasn’t going to drink that night. Until about 3pm when I’d start to rationalize about why it was okay for me to drink “just” a couple glasses of wine.
My psychiatrist suggested I drink one glass of wine at night. She said, “Swirl the wine in the glass. Smell it. Taste it. Drink it slowly. Savor it.”
How dare she. That was not the point of drinking, Doc! I wanted to relax and take the edge off and forget about how shitty my life was.
I’ve come a long way since then but still love wine. I love the way it tastes. The way the first glass makes me feel warm and fun. The ceremony of opening a bottle to share with loved ones. I associate it with celebration and relaxation. It’s the carrot at the end of a long day.
But I’ve also experienced the benefits of abstaining from alcohol. My creativity and productivity soar. I’m in a better mood. The best part is the way I feel in the morning. Energized. Ready. Happy. Light.
If it’s not clear, I’m conflicted about my relationship with wine. I don’t want to compare it to anything because I fear the comparison will make the path forward too obvious. I don’t even want to write about it because by putting it out there I have to deal with it and grow and blah blah blah. Fortunately, my platform leaves me no choice. Every time I struggle with something I know in my gut I have to share it with you.
And with the new year comes resolutions. Twitter was buzzing with declarations of “dry January.” Then I saw this:
The comments were inspiring. So many people who have completely cut alcohol out of their lives are better because of it.
I’m not saying my New Year’s Resolution is to quit drinking. It’s not.
But the more I share my struggles the more clarity it brings.
Essay of the Week
My sister came to visit after Christmas. One night she basically announced her unhappiness and then insisted we not talk about it.
I really wanted to keep talking. I wanted to help. But she wasn’t having it.
Is it possible to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?
I tried to answer that question in this week’s essay.
Book Recs
Thinking about your own struggles with alcohol?
Chrissy Teigen is 5 weeks sober. (She’s also hilarious if you want to follow her on Twitter.)
She read a book called Quit Like A Woman: The Radical Choice To Not Drink In A Culture Obsessed With Alcohol.
My other friend recommended Allen Carr’s Quit Drinking Without Willpower: Be A Happy NonDrinker.
Happy Reading!
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Until next week,
Charlie