Transparent Tuesdays

Issue 30

Hey folks,

My college roommate got married on Saturday. She was supposed to tie the knot in Italy. Instead she had a backyard wedding in New Jersey and we all tuned in virtually. 

Attending Sally’s wedding made me reflect on the ups and downs of our relationship. 

Our field hockey coach paired us together freshman year and we didn’t like each other (mostly I disliked her). We had nothing in common. 

But by junior year we were best friends. It was the first time I learned how refreshing it is to have people in your life who are nothing like you. 

Distance and life make it easy for college friendships to fizzle out over time. But Sally has remained one of my closest friends. When you value a relationship, you put in the effort to foster that relationship. Sometimes it’s as simple as a phone call. 

For us, Sally was unable to stand next to me as a bridesmaid for my wedding in Puerto Rico, but she did trek across the country to Palm Springs for my bachelorette party. While the rest of us were doing mushrooms and drinking wine, Sally was very sober and very pregnant. 

The timing of my wedding did not exactly fit in with her life, but she made it work. She made sure our friendship didn’t fizzle out. 

How do you ensure your friendships don’t fizzle out? How do you show loved ones that you value the relationship?

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Blog of the week

I struggled with my essay this week. And when that happens I try to think of a tiny idea for a short post, much akin to Seth Godin’s blog or Ryan Holiday’s Daily Dad newsletter.

I wrote about a topic people don’t write about much - their sex life. Or in my case, lack thereof. [Read the post here.]

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Pardon Me

There are certain things I don’t care about, like cars. I don’t care about expensive, fast, shiny, cool cars. 

And there are certain things I do care about, like wine. My favorite place in the country is Napa Valley. It’s beautiful. And the wine is delicious. 

At a family reunion I asked what wine there was to drink and all they had was Sutter Home.

I shuddered - only so that my immediate family members saw - and said no thank you. 

My sister told me I was such a snob.

Am I a snob because I don’t like shit wine? 

I understand not being rude in someone else’s house, but I wasn’t telling the host I wasn’t going to drink their wine. I thought I was in a safe space to say that I couldn’t drink Sutter Home. I should have known better. There is no safe space with my sister. 

Side note: I ended up drinking the wine. Because I was with family. And I have a problem. 

Here’s a list of some of my favorite red wines, by price, because that’s how people buy wine:

• Don Ramon, Spain: light and fruity; we buy this by the case. This is our every day wine. $7

• Tandem, France: delicious and easy drinking; unfortunately we haven’t been able to find this one in a while. $15

• Faust, Napa Valley: big and bold; we love to pair this with a nice steak dinner and give as gifts to our friends. $50

• Joseph Phelps Insignia, Napa Valley: the best wine I have ever tasted in my life. We have not bought a bottle of this yet. Someday. $315

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Until next week,

Charlie