You guys,
I finally met my sister’s 5-month-old daughter, Fiona. She is an angel. A sweet and quiet cuddler. Fiona is what they call “an easy baby.” Sometimes I’d watch her from across the room with my mouth slightly agape, in awe that such a baby existed in the world.
She’s the opposite of my little aggressive George. But even though my animal was on a rampage during the day, he was alone in his room every night from 7pm-7am (as has been his schedule since 5 months old) with only the occasional, “Da-da-da-da-da-da” heard from the monitor. George’s sleep and nap schedule can best be described as amazing. Meanwhile, Fiona didn’t sleep for more than 3-hour stretches at night.
I couldn’t fathom still doing 3-hour stretches at 5 months old.
I want to share some tips I learned along the way but my sister has never asked, and giving unsolicited advice has alway been met with, “I’m good,” rather than, “Thank you.”
Alexis and I are polar opposites. When I attended the Zoom class provided by the hospital I took copious notes. Alexis, on the other hand, turned her screen off and drove to Wawa for ice cream. She didn’t attend the free breastfeeding class. She didn’t see the point until she actually had a baby. If she did, she would have learned that you ALWAYS feed on both sides. You never just feed one boob. One boob is a snack, and snacks are not a thing. Full feedings are always encouraged.
It does hurt my feelings that Alexis would never ask for my help because she doesn’t think she has anything to learn from me. But that’s how it’s always been between us. We have moments of getting along but there is underlying resentment and animosity at all times. Part of me thinks I should try to heal our relationship and part of me is exhausted by it.
Now that I have my own family and a small core group of wonderful friends I can lean on, I don’t feel as connected to the family I grew up with. And I’m not sure that’s a bad thing.
Essay of the Week
I survived vacation with my family.
MVP of the week turned out to be my brother-in-law, Gary, who I have previously described as an asshole. I feel a little bad about that now, but it’s like when I absolutely HATE a contestant on The Bachelor and then they come back for Bachelor In Paradise and I fall in love with them. People change! And we don’t always see their best side. Everyone deserves multiple chances. So shoutout to Gary. Way to be, bro.
Aside from that, I failed at creating boundaries with kindness, as I had planned to do.
So I wrote about what happened and what I learned.
The Fucking Cat
My friend Gina and her cat have been living with us for almost two months. The cat is fine, I suppose, except that his litter is all over the house.
It’s gross. But it’s not a huge deal.
What IS a huge deal is that I went through George’s bin downstairs that is stuffed with toys, bibs, bathing suits, and burp cloths. As I was digging through the clutter, I felt wet on my fingers. Digging deeper, everything at the bottom was soaked. I moved my fingers to my nose and gasped.
Cat piss.
That fucking cat has been using George’s toy bin as a toilet.
We threw the whole thing out. Fuck.
---
Until next week,
Charlie