You guys,
Holy shit, parenting is physically hard.
It took an entire week for me to recover from our St. Kitts travels. I was achy and tired and just wanted to sleep sleep sleep.
Breastfeeding doesn’t help. Every time I breastfeed or pump I imagine a Death Eater sucking the happiness out of me, but instead of happiness it’s all my energy. So I immediately feel extra tired, like I just ran a 5k in the North Carolina August heat and need water STAT, and like any motivation I had is now gone, forever.
I’m glad I waited to have kids until I was an older, more mature, more settled person, but there’s a lot to be said for being young and fit when caring for small children. Last week a reader asked,
“How do you manage the physical strength, mobility, and endurance aspects of parenting? I feel like people don't discuss this as much. But it's no joke!”
For real. And to answer his thoughtful question — I don’t manage it well.
Fitness has not been a priority since I had kids. I’m tired, I have to cook dinner, I have to figure out three meals a day for a toddler that he’ll actually eat (please send help), I have to breastfeed or pump six times a day, and did I mention I’m tired.
But even the thought of a good stretch sounds luxurious. It’s like craving a salad after a week of take-out. My body NEEDS to sweat and move and feel strong again.
Layla just turned 6 months old, which is exactly when life got a little easier with George. We’re finally out of the muck of it, and it’s about time to feel like a strong, healthy — dare I say young — person again.
We hired a new nanny
Finding the perfect nanny is much like finding your life partner or choosing a therapist.
It can take a bunch, bunch, bunch of trial and error before you find the right person. And if you don’t stick it out and keep trying, you might eventually give up. Or worse, settle for someone who’s just okay.
After weeks of searches and interviews and trial runs, we finally found the most wonderful human to care for George and Layla. She is kind and nurturing and talks to them like they’re people, which may seem like obvious traits in a caregiver but you’d be surprised by how many people talk to our kids as if they’re foreign creatures from another planet.
Rebecca has only been with us for one week and she’s already transformed our lives and the way Sam and I parent (I know… pretty wild).
It’s made me realize how important it is to trust your gut when a relationship isn’t working out. So even though they may seem like small things — baby talk, checking their phone, being a few minutes late — these are not things to overlook. The good does not outweigh the bad.
No matter how seemingly insignificant, the small things are signs that this is not your person.
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Until next week,
Charlie