Transparent Tuesdays
Issue 126
You guys,
Sam and I need better friends.
We flew to Miami for a quick getaway and my online friends became IRL friends when we all met up for dinner.
Conversation flowed easily from one topic to the next for three hours. We talked about our kids’ education, sleep training babies, writing books, and our relationships with alcohol. I left the restaurant energized and inspired and certain this is how all dinners with friends should feel like.
So what should Sam and I be looking for in our friendships moving forward?
A great initial filter of someone I want to be friends with is their podcast feed. I’m sure I’m generalizing, but if we listen to the same podcasts, our interests, passions, and ambitions surely overlap.
Another thing to look for is someone who asks good questions. Someone who is curious and engages and really listens to your response. This one seems obvious but lots of people actually suck at this.
Finally, if you’re in a book club, (like a real one, not Oprah’s or Reese Witherspoon’s), I’m sure we’ll hit it off. Because you’re not just reading books to read books. You’re reading them to learn from them and have discussions about them. THAT is cool.
Podcasts, good questions, and book clubs. These are my new touchstones for friendship.
Happy Birthday!
My baby boy turned 2 years old last week.
Each year for his birthday, Sam and I write George a letter. Reflecting on an entire year felt overwhelming. So much has happened! Where do I start?? It was enough to keep me from writing anything at all.
But writing anything to my son, no matter how seemingly insignificant, is pretty special. So I let go of feeling like whatever I had to say wouldn’t be enough, and wrote about specific moments that stood out in my mind.
Here’s my letter to George: A Letter To My Son On His Second Birthday
And here was my letter to him on his first birthday: A Letter To My Son On His First Birthday
The Kids Are Alright
I had a hard time loosening my grip of control on Layla’s schedule while we were gone for two days and my in-laws took over.
I told my MIL numerous times, “Don’t let Layla sleep for more than two hours at a time. If she’s been sleeping for two hours, wake her up.”
Layla’s first nap without us home lasted almost three hours. As soon as we landed in Miami I stalked Layla’s activity on the baby monitor (as one does) and started fuming.
When I oh so innocently texted Jan to ask how Layla’s nap went, she responded, “Fabulous nap!”
I felt myself getting worked up. Layla wasn’t going to sleep through the night if Jan let her sleep the day away. I asked Sam, rhetorically, “Is this a me problem??”
I had already left Jan two written pages of instructions (I know, I know), and was constantly checking in to see how everything was going. Jan and Hank were so gracious and wonderful to offer their services while we were gone for two whole days. I should have just said thank you and left them alone.
On the second day of our trip I stopped micromanaging my in-laws and focused on reconnecting with Sam. We proceeded to have one of our most amazing vacations ever and came home feeling completely rejuvenated and ecstatic to hang out with our kids.
Jan and Hank need to have their own relationships and their own time with George and Layla without my influence. I can be as meticulous and rigid as I want with their schedules, but when I leave them in someone else’s care, I have to really leave them.
—
Until next week,
Charlie