You guys,
Our friend is pregnant with her third child and plans to start sleep training their baby around 5 months old.
Wait until 5 months old?? That sounded completely insane to me. I told her I started sleep training both kids on Day 2.
She looked at me like I was completely insane.
Not until later did I realize we probably have very different perspectives on what “sleep training your baby” means.
When I say sleep training starts on Day 2, I don’t mean leave my child to cry in her crib. At that early stage of life, I simply mean feed her every 2.5-3 hours, encourage full feedings, and put her down before she falls asleep in my arms (only sometimes! Of course your baby will fall asleep in your arms, especially in the beginning).
Let me break these points down real quick:
1. Try to follow the feeding schedule. That means if it’s 10am and it’s time to feed the baby and she’s sleeping, you wake her up. On the flip side, if it’s 9am and she’s crying you don’t feed her yet. You hold her, shush her, calm her down. You hold her off until it’s time to eat at 10am.
You might be thinking, Uh, hold her off? If my baby is hungry I need to feed her! Which brings me to my second point.
2. Encourage full feedings. Babies often fall asleep when they’re eating. It’s important to wake them up. There are tricks, like tickling their feet, a cold washcloth on their skin, or my go-to - changing her diaper. By encouraging a full feeding (for breastfeeding moms, 10-20 minutes on each side), you can be sure that when they are crying one hour later, there’s a solid chance they are not hungry and it’s okay to hold them off until it’s time for the next feeding. If you’re only feeding for a few minutes, then they WILL be hungry much sooner and you won’t be able to follow the schedule.
3. Put your baby down before she falls asleep in your arms. This is so she will learn to soothe herself and fall asleep on her own. So when she’s awake in my arms but tired, I watch her face in a mirror to see when those eyelids start fluttering and then I know it’s time to put her down. If you put her down and she starts to cry, you pick her up and go through the process again.
Of course there will be times when she passes out before you have a chance to put her down. It’s not important to do this every time. As long as you do it some of the time.
I’m not an expert. I’m just obsessed with sleep training because I’m obsessed with sleep.
The decision to sleep train and the way you decide to sleep train is a very personal decision. If you have no problem letting your baby dictate her (and your) schedule and you don’t mind waking up in the middle of the night to feed her until she’s five months old, then enjoy that time with your baby! But if you’re a Type A personality who craves order and is desperate for her eight hours of sleep a night back, you might consider sleep training as soon as possible.
For the record, I never let my kids cry it out. “Crying it out” had nothing to do with sleep training.
What do you immediately think when you hear the phrase, “sleep training your baby”? Do you have any strong opinions about it? Is there anything you’d like to know about sleep training?
Would also love to hear from the non-parents!
Who, me??
We hosted a 4th of July BBQ over the weekend and our friend texted afterwards, “Next time I host people, I’m going to think about how calm you were today hosting with a tiny baby and toddler!”
People call me a lot of things. Sassy. Aggressive. Blunt. Spastic.
They don’t call me “calm.”
But I’d love to identify as a calm person. One who doesn’t get worked up when she can’t figure out how to search for an old email and her husband finds it in two seconds (SO annoying). One who doesn’t mind that her 5-month-old daughter won’t go down for her nap so she gets literally nothing else done when she thought she was going to have an hour of productivity (totally fine!). One who doesn’t completely lose her shit when her son “accidentally” punches her in the boob and it really fucking hurts (what, am I NOT supposed to scream out in pain?).
So I was shocked at the compliment.
Upon reflection, the reason I seemed calm is because Sam and I are getting good at hosting. We’ve hosted three times in the past month and each time we prep and plan a little more so that when our guests arrive we can focus on the conversations and not on the hosting responsibilities.
Moral of the story: The more you do something, the easier it gets and the more comfortable you get doing it.
Fingers crossed this applies to parenting as well.
Don’t be like me
I order everything on Amazon. It’s so convenient! Free 2-day shipping?? Can’t beat it.
But not everything should be bought on Amazon.
As soon as it happened I thought to myself, “You’re an idiot.”
Are you embarrassed by any of the items you buy from Amazon?
Happy 4th!
One more pic…
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Until next week,
Charlie