Hello everyone,
What a week! The online course Write of Passage kicked off Wednesday and it’s been a whirlwind ever since.
I am re-invigorated by David Perell’s contagious energy and by this new crop of eager writers. There have been introductions and new connections, and many of us have already provided lots of feedback on peers’ essays.
Surprisingly, I have struggled with my actual writing this week. I feel scatterbrained and a bit overwhelmed by this jolt to my usual schedule. Also, the high school athletic director let me know that field hockey season is happening and practice starts next week.
I love writing and I love coaching and I love that Sam and I are moving in two weeks. But just because these are all good things doesn’t mean they’re not stressful. My anxiety - and therefore my back pain - has shot through the roof.
I used to think:
Anxiety = Pain = Having to live with that pain until it goes away on its own.
Thanks to six months with a physical therapist last year, I learned that I have more control over the pain than I thought.
In the most basic terms, our bodies learn to protect themselves by producing pain to prevent further pain. It doesn’t really matter what’s going on in our tissues. It’s not about our tissues. It’s about our nervous system.
My physical therapist pulled out the white board to explain:
My nervous system was at the bottom of the visual and at the top was where my body felt pain. In between was this huge gap called the buffer area where I was safe. My body had gotten so accustomed to protecting myself from pain that it thought pain was happening way more than it was, so that buffer area had gotten smaller and smaller over time.
He told me, “What we hope to achieve is to very slowly start to ‘poke the bear,’ so we will do exercises that will push us right up to that line. It’s getting our nervous system to not feel like it needs to go into protect-mode.”
The exercises worked wonders but even more helpful was something my physical therapist described as the 48-hour rule. Every 48 hours something happens in our bodies where the nerves reset. So if I “tweak” something or feel a sharp pain that feels like it’s never going to go away, you can bet if I do my exercises that pain will go away within 48 hours.
Every time I’ve tested this theory it works. It’s magical.
So now when I feel pain I don’t panic. I don’t get worked up thinking about how painful it is and wonder if it will ever go away. I do my exercises and keep in mind the 48-hour rule.
Our minds are incredible. If we can literally think away pain, imagine what else we’re capable of.
Blog of the Week
I wrote about a phrase that I am more and more trying to live by: process vs. outcome.
This is easier said than done. I hate not being good at something and hate even more when I continue to be bad at something that I have put effort into. But wouldn’t life be more beautiful if we could learn to enjoy the process? [Read the post here.]
Is It Worth It?
Not all anxiety is bad. Sometimes you have to dig deep and push yourself and go outside your comfort zone to achieve something great. But when are you stretching yourself in a good way vs. forcing yourself to do something that makes you unhappy?
Submitting my screenplay to the Austin Film Festival brought on a lot of anxiety - but it was totally worth it. Producing a short film brought on a lot of anxiety - but it was definitely not worth it. What was the difference?
Things that are worth it come naturally and give me energy. Even though parts of writing the screenplay were difficult and frustrating, there was an overwhelming sense of happiness and accomplishment.
Things that are not worth it typically involve outside factors like money or making other people happy. I wasn’t paid to produce the short film but people told me I’d be good at it. I didn’t want to let them down.
When deciding if something creative is worth it, ask yourself if you enjoy it, if it gives you energy, and if you would want to do it regardless of payment or pleasing somebody else.
I Figured Out Birth
Sam and I attended a virtual birth class.
Here’s what I learned:
You are ready to give birth when you are 10cm dilated.
Most first-time moms open up 1cm every hour, so that’s 10 hours of labor until it’s time to start pushing that baby out.
In early labor, contractions can last up to 45 minutes and then stop (this can go on for days). It’s not until contractions are consistent for two hours that you will probably be dilated at 4cm.
You cannot be admitted to the hospital until you are 4cm. This is also the earliest point that you can be administered an epidural for pain.
If you do not want an epidural (like me), you can labor at home for a longer period of time.
So I figured out the math. Once my contractions are consistent I’ll want to labor at home for 4.5 hours. By the time we get to the hospital I should be at 7cm. Then it will only be three hours until I give birth.
Sounds like a perfect plan! I’ve got it all figured out. I don’t know why all first-time moms haven’t done this math. Having a baby will be easy.
...Or I’ll end up giving birth in my bedroom.
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Until next week,
Charlie
That our nervous systems reset every 48 hours is pretty cool. If I'm having lower back pain—and I can't believe I just wrote those words—I'll do some stretches that never take full effect until a day or two later. I was always curious about that.