What’s the secret to a thriving marriage?
Sam and I celebrated our 4-year anniversary this week, and while I snap at him when he’s patient with our kids and not me, and he sighs when I forget something he’s told me three times already, there’s one thing that makes us a power couple:
We’re excited about each other’s pursuits.
When Sam and I first met I knew nothing about investing, but was curious to learn because he was so passionate about it. He often lost me with jargon like “sunk cost” and “shares” and “passive income.” My eyes glazed over and I couldn’t take in any more new information. Sam would stop there for the day.
Over time, little by little, I started to understand Sam’s world. So instead of just telling my friends and family he was an investor and I had no idea what he did, I understood his long-term approach, what it meant to hold a company for years, and why he was attracted to the people who ran these small companies I’d never heard of.
When it came to writing, Sam was always my champion. He encouraged me to take the online course Write of Passage when I wasn’t sure what to do next. He reads every single thing I write before I publish it. When I have an idea, he’s my sounding board. When I don’t have an idea, he rattles off five. When I announce that I suck at writing and have nothing to say, he calls bullshit in a way that motivates me rather than deflates me. He’s my muse.
I know couples who are not this supportive of each other’s endeavors, or they just don’t know that much about their partner’s line of work. There’s a lot of love and respect in these relationships, but there’s a disconnect in how they relate to each other. If you can’t talk about the things you’re passionate about with the person you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with, how can you be your whole self with that person?
It’s natural to be in completely different fields of work and have vastly different interests, but nothing can replace the encouragement and support of your life partner.
So while I think back to our newlywed days when we rode bikes to the beach and spent happy hour by the docks, when we sipped wine as we got ready for the evening and I spent a silly amount of time curling my hair and applying make-up, I wouldn’t trade anything for where we are right now, with two kids screaming in the background and the idea of a real date night far from our reality, because instead of just being curious about each other’s interests, we’re fully invested.
Now that I don’t drink much, my desire to host dinner parties has fizzled. What fun is cooking a delicious meal if we’re not going to pair it with delicious wine?
Enter the world’s most unique guide to alcohol-free drinks from the Alinea group.
It might take a week to craft one of these complex cocktails, but talk about wowing a guest. You need a vacuum sealer and a sous vide just to make the base “tequila” for one of these concoctions.
Move over Malbec. Mocktails are takin’ over.