Really enjoyed this one Charlie. I can relate, painfully. Going into my junior year season of college lacrosse my coach spent tons of time with me, telling me I was going to be an All-American, have such a great year, all kinds of shit. After a good start to the season I had a couple of bad games and fell into something of a slump. He initially responded by getting all over me, like your coach, but as the slump continued I saw him give up on me - it started with some subtle signs of indifference at practice and slowly developed into blatant disregard.
Like you, it put my chip on my shoulder. I was going to prove him wrong! But I'm not MJ. This particular chip just made it worse. I pressed during games, not letting the game come to me and playing with the free flowing style I had before that had made me good. That season sucked.
I don't know what to make of all this either. But I love your writing, and I love the way that you talk about the craft. It has replaced lacrosse as the love of my life (I begrudgingly had to stop playing after 7 concussions), and it's certainly more of an infinite game. It's got a different texture; like you, I want to win, but winning feels different in this game. To me, it seem that winning the game is mostly a function of continuing to play.
Also Whiplash is a banger of a movie and that final scene is so good.
Ugh, Alex I relate so much to your story! "The free flowing style." I know what you mean. I sometimes think if I played now, and if I was actually in shape, how good I would be because I wouldn't give a fuck. I wouldn't be in my head, I'd just be having so much fun.
Love "winning is a function of continuing to play." Couldn't agree more!
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you write about it.
Also, Whiplash. Man. So, so good. Every time I think of it I want to watch it.
Funny you say that - I bet if you played now you'd be balling out. I'm confident in saying that partially because I had a former teammate come up to me after a men's league game we both played in a few years after college and say, "Dude, you're like 10 times better than you were in college. What happened?"
What happened was, as you said, I stopped giving a fuck. Such a reliable way to improve performance. Such a difficult mindframe to inhabit.
gahhhH i have such complicated feelings about this movie and you summed them up pretty damn well. i hated the teacher but i also wish he would take me under his wing because he saw that greatness in me but FUCK HIM but also plz pick me ?
I just watched Whiplash a month ago and had similar thoughts.
1. Is it worth the abuse to become great?
2. Can you be great without the abuse?
But I was also wondering if these hard-ass teachers only produce greatness in defined activities? If you're "creating your own monopoly" could they help?
I had the same questions, Chris. And my answers continue to flip-flop! Interesting point about creating your own monopoly. My coach was definitely singularly focused on basketball, not my growth as a person.
I struggle a lot with the balance between the comfort and fulfillment of self love and the undeniable self improvement benefits of self loathing (hahaha). This essay reminded me of that and how often this conflict shows up for me in my relationship with mentors.
Lol ya, lots of people call me Ali so feel free to get on the bandwagon (P.S. I’m sure you’ll appreciate this: my grandfather always said my name was too long and told my parents to cut it down to something short like Dana when I was born — they were not amused! 😂)
It indeed sucks when teacher/trainer brings you out of everyone else as a weakling or faulty one,most especially when it’s a funny badge.Your class/team will remember that for life and this will be something they will remind you of all the time, but it will only take courage to come out of it. Exactly the point that nothing can stop the good in you.Whip it out and don’t lose your confidence. Your story is a reminder that took me down the memory lane of how I was treated in Maths class when I was in secondary school.
Thanks for this masterpiece of great and important discussion!😊👍
Really enjoyed this one Charlie. I can relate, painfully. Going into my junior year season of college lacrosse my coach spent tons of time with me, telling me I was going to be an All-American, have such a great year, all kinds of shit. After a good start to the season I had a couple of bad games and fell into something of a slump. He initially responded by getting all over me, like your coach, but as the slump continued I saw him give up on me - it started with some subtle signs of indifference at practice and slowly developed into blatant disregard.
Like you, it put my chip on my shoulder. I was going to prove him wrong! But I'm not MJ. This particular chip just made it worse. I pressed during games, not letting the game come to me and playing with the free flowing style I had before that had made me good. That season sucked.
I don't know what to make of all this either. But I love your writing, and I love the way that you talk about the craft. It has replaced lacrosse as the love of my life (I begrudgingly had to stop playing after 7 concussions), and it's certainly more of an infinite game. It's got a different texture; like you, I want to win, but winning feels different in this game. To me, it seem that winning the game is mostly a function of continuing to play.
Also Whiplash is a banger of a movie and that final scene is so good.
Ugh, Alex I relate so much to your story! "The free flowing style." I know what you mean. I sometimes think if I played now, and if I was actually in shape, how good I would be because I wouldn't give a fuck. I wouldn't be in my head, I'd just be having so much fun.
Love "winning is a function of continuing to play." Couldn't agree more!
Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you write about it.
Also, Whiplash. Man. So, so good. Every time I think of it I want to watch it.
Funny you say that - I bet if you played now you'd be balling out. I'm confident in saying that partially because I had a former teammate come up to me after a men's league game we both played in a few years after college and say, "Dude, you're like 10 times better than you were in college. What happened?"
What happened was, as you said, I stopped giving a fuck. Such a reliable way to improve performance. Such a difficult mindframe to inhabit.
gahhhH i have such complicated feelings about this movie and you summed them up pretty damn well. i hated the teacher but i also wish he would take me under his wing because he saw that greatness in me but FUCK HIM but also plz pick me ?
EXACTLY! So complicated. I still don't know how I feel lol.
Ah this turned out so great!
Camilo! Thank you for all your feedback on such short notice, and for reading the final product!
I just watched Whiplash a month ago and had similar thoughts.
1. Is it worth the abuse to become great?
2. Can you be great without the abuse?
But I was also wondering if these hard-ass teachers only produce greatness in defined activities? If you're "creating your own monopoly" could they help?
I had the same questions, Chris. And my answers continue to flip-flop! Interesting point about creating your own monopoly. My coach was definitely singularly focused on basketball, not my growth as a person.
I struggle a lot with the balance between the comfort and fulfillment of self love and the undeniable self improvement benefits of self loathing (hahaha). This essay reminded me of that and how often this conflict shows up for me in my relationship with mentors.
"Undeniable self improvement benefits of self loathing." — lol
I'm curious about these mentors! Are they really hard on you?
"When you have a drive to be great, nothing can stop you."
Love the conviction behind this!
Thanks Alexandra! BTW I always want to call you "Ali" but then I'm like no, that's not right. (Is it?? What do you prefer, lol)
Lol ya, lots of people call me Ali so feel free to get on the bandwagon (P.S. I’m sure you’ll appreciate this: my grandfather always said my name was too long and told my parents to cut it down to something short like Dana when I was born — they were not amused! 😂)
It indeed sucks when teacher/trainer brings you out of everyone else as a weakling or faulty one,most especially when it’s a funny badge.Your class/team will remember that for life and this will be something they will remind you of all the time, but it will only take courage to come out of it. Exactly the point that nothing can stop the good in you.Whip it out and don’t lose your confidence. Your story is a reminder that took me down the memory lane of how I was treated in Maths class when I was in secondary school.
Thanks for this masterpiece of great and important discussion!😊👍