I also don't do well with rules. I end up rebelling against them. They annoy me. But for whatever reason, the one part of my life where a 'rule' makes sense is with alcohol. Not drinking is paradoxically way less effort for me - probably because if I didn't have the rule, I'd be doing a lot of that waffling and analyzing you're talking about, haha.
Uh, yea, Alex, I know exactly what you mean by less effort. The waffling is so annoying. A big part of me is embarrassed to share this story. But at the same time I love to share what embarrasses me.
Was there a time where you waffled? Or a moment that made you decide you were done for good? I know you've written about some of this...
I have a ton of respect and admiration for your willingness to share candidly.
Strangely, since making the decision to quit, I don't think I've waffled once. I did not expect that. In terms of the moment that made me decide, it was pretty similar to the smartphone thing I just wrote about. It slowly built up over time, and I read all those books I told you about, and it was maybe the 6th or 7th one when I finally went, "Fuck it, it's time." So no real watershed moment other than just a decision that happened when it needed to happen, I guess.
The struggle is real! I quit drinking, completely, about 10 years ago.
I have an addictive personality, so I understand that I can’t make special exceptions. Ever. Because an exception for something as big as a kid’s graduation or 21st birthday (many years from now 😂) would slowly morph into, over time, an exception because I had a rough day at work, which would turn into “because I’m an adult and can make my own choices”.
I’ll tell you, though, I’ve never struggled with it. Understood your history about rules. But eventually it’s not a rule, it’s a way of life. It’s an all-day-every-day thing that’s a part of your day-to-day. And you realize it’s a million times worth it when you look at your kids, and know that not being groggy/dragging in the morning means you get more moments with them.
Totally, Bradley. I'm sure I'll get to where you are, eventually. Congrats on 10 years, congrats on a better life! Thank you for sharing your experience here.
You have no idea how happy it makes me that you make the cookie recipe! My family just came to visit and I made them and my mom said she doesn't even like cookies and she ate them every night. :)
Charlie, Sam, your family, and your family of origin, are lucky to have you. And, when you shine brighter, everyone sees a little better 😊.
“Those rules led to a constant berating of myself, and that constant berating led to self-hatred. It was when I let go of the rules around body image that life started to brighten.”
"I didn't want any more than that because what used to feel like relaxation and enjoyment now felt like I'd just taken a sleeping pill." This is how liquor works for me. Like a sleeping pill. I come from a non-drinking family. My parents used to entertain a lot when they worked in Corporate Hell, so we had a bar in our house for that reason. But my parents never drank. So, in turn, my sister and I never drank. Until later in life. I've never liked hard liquor or beer (aka piss), and I only JUST started liking wine (2012). But it has to be the dessert wine that's right on par with drinking Martinelli's Sparkling Cider. Like Moscato Rivata or Stella Rosa Peach. LOL And I can't do reds. Red wine is too heavy, I guess, and it gives me a headache.
This is really good Charlie.
I also don't do well with rules. I end up rebelling against them. They annoy me. But for whatever reason, the one part of my life where a 'rule' makes sense is with alcohol. Not drinking is paradoxically way less effort for me - probably because if I didn't have the rule, I'd be doing a lot of that waffling and analyzing you're talking about, haha.
Uh, yea, Alex, I know exactly what you mean by less effort. The waffling is so annoying. A big part of me is embarrassed to share this story. But at the same time I love to share what embarrasses me.
Was there a time where you waffled? Or a moment that made you decide you were done for good? I know you've written about some of this...
I have a ton of respect and admiration for your willingness to share candidly.
Strangely, since making the decision to quit, I don't think I've waffled once. I did not expect that. In terms of the moment that made me decide, it was pretty similar to the smartphone thing I just wrote about. It slowly built up over time, and I read all those books I told you about, and it was maybe the 6th or 7th one when I finally went, "Fuck it, it's time." So no real watershed moment other than just a decision that happened when it needed to happen, I guess.
The struggle is real! I quit drinking, completely, about 10 years ago.
I have an addictive personality, so I understand that I can’t make special exceptions. Ever. Because an exception for something as big as a kid’s graduation or 21st birthday (many years from now 😂) would slowly morph into, over time, an exception because I had a rough day at work, which would turn into “because I’m an adult and can make my own choices”.
I’ll tell you, though, I’ve never struggled with it. Understood your history about rules. But eventually it’s not a rule, it’s a way of life. It’s an all-day-every-day thing that’s a part of your day-to-day. And you realize it’s a million times worth it when you look at your kids, and know that not being groggy/dragging in the morning means you get more moments with them.
Totally, Bradley. I'm sure I'll get to where you are, eventually. Congrats on 10 years, congrats on a better life! Thank you for sharing your experience here.
Aaah you’re welcome! Thank you for the continued willingness to be vulnerable with us readers.
Side note—I’m making your cookie recipe again this weekend. They’re quite popular! 😁😁
You have no idea how happy it makes me that you make the cookie recipe! My family just came to visit and I made them and my mom said she doesn't even like cookies and she ate them every night. :)
Makes me wonder what percentage of the world at any given time is thinking about drinking.
Lol, seriously, Rick! And I'm sure a lot of people aren't even aware how much they're thinking about it.
Charlie, Sam, your family, and your family of origin, are lucky to have you. And, when you shine brighter, everyone sees a little better 😊.
“Those rules led to a constant berating of myself, and that constant berating led to self-hatred. It was when I let go of the rules around body image that life started to brighten.”
Thank you, James. :)
"I didn't want any more than that because what used to feel like relaxation and enjoyment now felt like I'd just taken a sleeping pill." This is how liquor works for me. Like a sleeping pill. I come from a non-drinking family. My parents used to entertain a lot when they worked in Corporate Hell, so we had a bar in our house for that reason. But my parents never drank. So, in turn, my sister and I never drank. Until later in life. I've never liked hard liquor or beer (aka piss), and I only JUST started liking wine (2012). But it has to be the dessert wine that's right on par with drinking Martinelli's Sparkling Cider. Like Moscato Rivata or Stella Rosa Peach. LOL And I can't do reds. Red wine is too heavy, I guess, and it gives me a headache.