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Charlie, EVERY SINGLE PARENT has a broken book light. Or two.

Before I was a parent - a parent said to me “kids will make you do things, and say things you never thought you were capable of.”

I recall a moment with my daughter when she was about 18 months old, where she was a split second…from being the book light.

That charge of emotion from somewhere deep within scared the bejesus out of me.

My several book light moment have come after that - and I’m grateful/thankful that whatever my book lights were (I didn’t write down what they were) they were not breathing.

Last and perhaps most important, is that the perspective that “kids will make you do and say things you didn’t know your capable of” is true in the good as well. I didn’t know I had the capacity for love that kids have brought forth. Kids unlock a chamber of love in your heart that only kids have the key to. To live my life with that chamber opened is the greatest feeling in the world.

Thank you Charlie for who you are and the example you set for all of us.

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Oh I love this, James, that it's true in the good as well. We are all capable of so much. Thank you for sharing your own book light moment. It's good to hear I'm not alone.

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Sep 10Liked by Charlie Bleecker

This one. This one. Flying back to the beach to have you listen to all of these moments I've had... and since ignored, because I don't want them to be true about myself. Missing George and that crewneck today.

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Please come back! I want to hear them!

Crewnecks!! Gah. So cute.

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Sep 10Liked by Charlie Bleecker

Thank you for being vulnerable with us, your readers. This is more relatable than you could ever know. I’m glad you’re able to pull something positive from that night, as often those “worst parenting moments” tend to stay as a negative instance in our minds 😊

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Thank you, Bradley! I'm so glad you found it relatable. I find that the writing of the thing will always make it less negative and turn it into growth.

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Sep 10Liked by Charlie Bleecker

When my daughter was four, I felt that I often regressed to her age and lost all semblance of maturity. We both had to learn how to apologize in ways that were sincere, swift, and respectful. I am thankful we matured as we endured the high-drama moments. Back then, while we were in the tornado’s funnel, it was easy to lose my footing. Now the memories make me nostalgic. Thanks for sharing an experience that was raw and genuine.

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Sincere, swift, and respectful. I love that. I also love that these memories make you nostalgic and that you both matured through these high-drama moments. I can only hope the same is happening for me and my kids!

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Sep 12Liked by Charlie Bleecker

Love this! I just recently realized that my most well received writing is the most honest and honestly about the most embarrassing things that happen to me. Of course yours isn’t embarrassing it’s just very human. I so appreciate you putting yourself out there and giving me the courage to do the same.

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Yes, Lindsey! Keep doing it! And for the record this was definitely embarrassing. Actually, worse than that: shameful. Lol, but it feels similar to write about embarrassment and shame. Both are freeing.

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Sep 10Liked by Charlie Bleecker

What a beautiful piece. I’ve been there, too. 💗

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Thank you, Kristin. :)

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Charlie, this is so painfully brave and clear. Like a sub-zero winter day that ignores whatever you are wearing and cuts to the bone. I've been right there, in the place you describe—as you say—just the way it happened. And what crazy power there is in the raw truth. As a reader, part of me doesn't want to read it, but I do, because it's so courageous and honest and going deeper into the experience is the only option when you've tried every means of escape. My kids have seen me at my worst way more times than any other human being, especially when they were little. Now approaching 30 they are some of the kindest, gentlest and most respectful humans I know. And I can't imagine how they made it out of my house so intact, and upright, and vulnerable. The only thing that I might have done to contribute to who they are now is to stand tall in organic shame and apologize with an open heart, and start over again. So many times.

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Soooo +1

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"Going deeper into the experience is the only option when you've tried every means of escape." Oof, yes. It makes me so happy to read about other parents' experiences who are on the other side with their kids grown. Thank you for sharing, Rick, and for always being so open and vulnerable.

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